Archive for April, 2003

April 28, 2003 Leave a comment

Had a tremendous fruitful and wonderful this weekend.

ITE Bishan E1

Meet up with Wee Leong(WL) and Roger on Sat morning for the ITE E1 deal.

As we entered, the ITE bishand the whole premise is almost deserted.

Only see a few students sitting at the canteen. Kind of abit disappointed. We moved to the furthest end of the canteen… then Wee Leong and I realised the school authorities had revamped the entire place. They replaced the old tables and chairs which were filled with bird’s dropping to a more colourful tables and chairs.

At least they looked nicer and cleaner.

We chatted for awhile before going into a time of prayer… the prayer passage WL chose was Isaiah 43:1-13

Israel’s Only Savior

1 But now, this is what the LORD says-

he who created you, O Jacob,

he who formed you, O Israel:

“Fear not, for I have redeemed you;

I have summoned you by name; you are mine.

2 When you pass through the waters,

I will be with you;

and when you pass through the rivers,

they will not sweep over you.

When you walk through the fire,

you will not be burned;

the flames will not set you ablaze.

3 For I am the LORD , your God,

the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;

I give Egypt for your ransom,

Cush [1] and Seba in your stead.

4 Since you are precious and honoured in my sight,

and because I love you,

I will give men in exchange for you,

and people in exchange for your life.

5 Do not be afraid, for I am with you;

I will bring your children from the east

and gather you from the west.

6 I will say to the north, ‘Give them up!’

and to the south, ‘Do not hold them back.’

Bring my sons from afar

and my daughters from the ends of the earth-

7 everyone who is called by my name,

whom I created for my glory,

whom I formed and made.”

8 Lead out those who have eyes but are blind,

who have ears but are deaf.

9 All the nations gather together

and the peoples assemble.

Which of them foretold this

and proclaimed to us the former things?

Let them bring in their witnesses to prove they were right,

so that others may hear and say, “It is true.”

10 “You are my witnesses,” declares the LORD ,

“and my servant whom I have chosen,

so that you may know and believe me

and understand that I am he.

Before me no god was formed,

nor will there be one after me.

11 I, even I, am the LORD ,

and apart from me there is no savior.

12 I have revealed and saved and proclaimed-

I, and not some foreign god among you.

You are my witnesses,” declares the LORD , “that I am God.

13 Yes, and from ancient days I am he.

No one can deliver out of my hand.

When I act, who can reverse it?”

We pray through some of the verses… claiming promises and some directions from the Lord.

The most interesting part came when WL prayed that by praying we are also doing the work and not physically go into evangelism and presenting the gospel.

It reminded me that praying is also doing God’s work. Personally, I’m a person who rather go and get my hands in doing something than to go on my knees and pray. God used WL to remind me that His work is done by first committing our prayers to Him. Not head straight to do the work.

Thanked the God for using Wee Leong.

After we ended praying through Isaiah 43:1-13, we proceed to walk round the school to pray for every corners of the school. Each of us took turns to pray… from praying for the health of students to the meeting the inner needs of the students.

I didn’t feel as disappointed like I did earlier. Praise God for being in our midst through the whole session.

Baptism Service in Faith Community Baptist Church(FCBC)

Later in the evening, I went down to FCBC for Dawn’s baptism service. I realised that every time I do down to FCBC is someone else baptism.

Once thing similar with my church is that while worshipping God, the baptism is ongoing. I was enjoying worshipping God that I din realised that Dawn had already baptised.

After which the sermon was given by Senior Pastor Khong. The whole message was clear and well presented. He shared about what is the purpose of living… there was quite a no. of things which were very minded challenging but the most striking one was it’s all about God. Not abt me. It was never myself. It’s always about God. In order to know the purpose of living is we need to embrace God into our lives. Our lives can never be purposeful when He is not in our lives.

There was an altar call for all pre-believers and Christians who had back-slide to recommit their lives to God once again. My people came forward. There were aleast 20 people out in the front. They received prayers and blessings. I prayed that these people will have proper follow up.

At the end of the service, met up with Dawn and gave her nicely arranged sunflowers to encourage her for step of boldness to go through baptism. A new and fresh start with the Lord.

Bidded her good bye b’coz I needed to rush off for the No-Kia meeting

Prayer Retreat

Have a enjoyable time… from 8am to 7pm.

The earlier part of the programme was pray to adore God. I must comment that the method Siew Lim suggested was a very systematic way of praising God. From the alphabet A-Z.

Then we moved on to pray for Post Secondary Ministry(PSM) and for our evangelistic event(No-Kia Factor). As for the No-Kia Factor, we were still very much worried about the upcoming. However, Robert brought out a extremely good point that we were focusing too much on the SARS. He urged us to direct our attention back to the Creation who is all powerful over the whole issue. Praise God for the insightful thought.

The later part of the program was we went over to our property in Race Course Road. Viewing the premises and praying over the various important prayer items… like the building process to the usage of the property. Praise God for the giving us the property in the advancement of his kingdom.

We moved on to MacRitchie to do our Extended Time With God(ETWG). Personally, it was a most fruitful time with the Lord. I had 15mins of purely praising God. Boy, it was difficult initially b’coz I was trying to settle down into the mood of been still with the Lord… there were so many distraction like a couple eating ice-creams next to me… the occasionally, people passing by my bench.

When I got into the mood, I wasn’t bother by such thing any longer. Praise God for enabling me.

Several times while I was pinning down my thoughts, I was starting to doze off… due to little wind coming my way… and it was humid. I decided to move up to the cateria. I was enjoying writing down my thoughts upon it was time to gather in our groups to meet.

I struggled about one of my weakness was in relationship. In a BGR kind. As much as I longed for one I wasn’t ready to step into one. Getting into a relationship doesn’t solved my longing. It doesn’t guarantee that I will be satisfied by it. The root issue was I was not totally security in the Lord. I still struggled in finding my significant in the Lord. Unless, I looked to the Lord for security and significant… I will still continue to struggling in BGR.

I decided to start been more serious with God in having more quality time with the Lord… After my sharing… Robert asked Yongsheng to pray for me… during his prayers. A thought came across my mind when he mentioned that I can’t love God more… without understanding how much God loves me. Again, I was focusing on the doing part but failed to let God let me experience His Love for me…

Right now, I jus want to taste God’s love afresh like the time when I was first received Christ. My 1st love…

“God lead me to your pasture. Take me to the highest plains. Come and touch my life anew so that I can start to love you afresh. Amen.”

In His Grace and Love.


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April 25, 2003 Leave a comment

… Still feeling not so good… but better than yesterday. Thks Dawn for praying for me and encouraging me! Gonna give tonight’s Praise and Pray amiss coz I’m having too much things on my schedules… Need to do my Bible Study, my tutorials, my circuit revision booking, attending a friend’s birthday chalet, attending her baptism session, packing the goodies bags for No-Kia Factor, go for prayer retreat… the list continues.

This is horrible… Grasping of air… Hey wait a minute. I kinda of enjoy this kind of life. So long as I still serving the King and not the kingdom. Yupz… must remind myself to do that. Must allow the mundane things affect my relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ.

One more plus hour to go before I knock off… Leap for joy!!! Weekends!

Meeting a sister tonite to shop for two presents for my brothers in Christ. So busy until I have to do a last minute shopping. Hence, not attending the Praise and Pray tonite. Well, God will forgive me. =)

Gonna treat her to a meal at Lemon Grass… I think. Still deciding. Gonna make her treat me cheese cake. Oh I have a weakness for cheese cake other than chocolate. All these food will make me fat, but who cares… the most I go home and do a few more cruches and push ups.

“Cheese cake! Cheese cake!”

I think I will also spend some time in prayer and sharing with this wonderful sister in Christ… Amen.


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April 24, 2003 Leave a comment

… Woke up early in the morning feeling uneasy… like something bad is going to happen. Argh. Hate this kind of feeling… make my day kinda of terrible. Prayed to my God over this. Dun know whether it is related to work stress or what…

When I received a sms from my leader reading… Psalm 27:1 for you. “1 The LORD is my light and my salvation- whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life- of whom shall I be afraid?”

Kinda of like an answered prayer from the Lord. At least this will keep me going for awhile till the end of the day…

The last few days was terribly busy with lessons and meeting up with people. I guess one of the comfort was I bought my very own acrostic guiter. Under the brand name Morris. It’s a pretty gd guiter, the sound, craftsmanship was excellent. Furthermore, it can be plugged into a Amp. However, you can’t really compare this with

TaylorMorris is only 70% ~ 80% like Taylor in terms of sounds, quality etc. Still I’m already contented with it. Hopefully, I will be good enough to play with a band… hee.

Another 5plus hrs more before I knock off from work… gonna keep me in prayer that there will not be anything screw up during work.Clap my hands in prayer…


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April 19, 2003 Leave a comment

Praise the Lord for today… A day of which He came to die on the Christ of you and I.

Initially, we were supposed to have the “No-Kia” Factor… an outreach rally for the teens…

However, the event was postponed due to the current SARS.

Well, God changed the agenda… Roger took the initiative to organise some event for the ITE students(Bishan) to continue to excite them since the “No-Kia” Factor was cancelled. Praise God for him… if not it will be a uneventful day for me…

To go back a few days before today’s picnic… when Roger tried calling the ITE students to get confirm no coming. He received some not very gd news. They decided not to come. I’m sure at that point of time. He must had felt terrible. Bro Roger, if u are reading this mail now. I wanna to affirm you that you did a wonderful job in calling them!!! At the end of the day, it’s really doesn’t mind whether they come or not… it’s that heart of yours which is so willing to make the initiative that counts. I’m sure God had already saw that. Praise God for that.

Another God created agenda came when Serene msg me that she had invited her friends from ITE and poly to come for the picnic. This was without my knowledge. She was rather apologetic about it… I assured her that was totally fine. The outreach wasn’t solely for the ITE students only. It’s about reaching out to other people as well… After assuring her, I was already thinking.

“Wow, God is a God of surprises… on one hand, we have other ITE students who decline to come… on the other hand, God provided another group of students thru Serene. Praise God for that!”

Back to the event day… I bumped into Kingsan in a provision shop along my journey to East Coast. I was encouraged by this brother whom was so eager to serve in planning for the game today. Furthermore, he went over the Li Jie’s hse just to bring the jelly for us to consume. Bro, if you are reading this. Praise God for you act of servanthood. And Li Jie, thanks for taking time off from your studies to make those lovely and delicious jelly.

When we were walking to meet the rest of the gang. I noticed dark clouds hovering over the sky. Inside me… I was praying, “God, please don’t rain…” Then I saw Serene and her friend Brian. Have short introduction. Shortly, Roger arrived. Wee Leong and Zhen yang also arrived.

Not long after the rain already arrived… “Oh no, Lord not the rain…”

We had to seek shelter near the 7-11. There was a sense of awkwardness, everyone was feeling abit uncomfortable… you stared and me, I stared you… tried to start the ball rolling by introducing name again… not the ball didn’t roll further from there. We were back to our square one. Hmph.

The rain stopped.

“Thank God for answering my prayers”

We proceed to the some of the benches which was not occupied. Layout our food. Started munching… then the people started to warm up. I seriously believed food is one of the ways to get people to warm up… people’s defences start to collapse when you serve them drinks and food… We were able to strive up conversation… here and there. One thing I did notice was Serene was like one of those ‘targets’ to be “suan” most of the time.

Nevertheless, it did help in making the people more comfortable. Thks, Serene for being the prime ‘target’.

Throughout the whole picnic, we had lots of pockets of laughter… some of them were my lame jokes which have totally no connection. Who cares… so long as I got people to laugh at me for being stupid. Not been intellectual. My confident is in Christ alone.

I’m still very impressed by my leader,Wee Leong. He took every and any opportunity to interact with the students. Sharing with them, inviting them to the “No-Kia” Factor. Exciting them for the event. Something I think I’m still lacking in the areas of passion for the lost.

The rest of the people, Roger, Kingsan and Serene did make lotsa of effort to make all the people to gel up the group… Thk God for their efforts.

Oh another thing, I really thanked God for was I had the wonderful opportunity to talk to Zhen Yang who was quiet most of the time. God provided a common topic which was “motorbike”. We were yakking and yakking non stop about the different models of bikes. I think we can talk about bike for the whole day.

I think I caught this kind of passion from my dad. Always so engross about the bike. Hmm… I prayed that I can do the same for sharing the good news in the years to come. I’ll dream, eat, sleep, think etc abt sharing the gospel.

Overall, the whole event was blessed by the Lord. A lot of changed agenda. Too many surprises from the Lord. I’m not sure whether my heart can take these kind of surprises. However, with the Lord’s help I think I can. I would say that it was a success.

Thank God for using various people in making this a success in the Lord.

Thank God for Ginny for making the egg mayo. It was delicious. Thank God for her for been so ‘powerful’ in taking care of the 2 and 1/2 children so that Wee Leong can be free to interact with the students. Btw, the 1/2 children refers to her son currently in her womb now.

Thank God for Wee Leong, been a leader who is so supportive to our last min planning of this event. He wasn’t there to diminish our spirit.

Thank God for Serene’s sunshine spirit. Without her smile and laughter and her ability to laugh at herself being suan. Not very edifing for her image but it does add on to her treasure in heaven.

Oh of coz and her friends.

Thank God for Roger’s willingness to be blend into the whole conversation even though at times he wasn’t sure what we were talking about.

Thank God for Kingsan for planning the games and getting the drinks. Even though at the end, we didn’t play a single game at all.

Thank God for Li Jie for making such wonderful and nice jelly.

Thank God for everyone who endured reading this horrible lengthy blog of mine.

Last of all, Thank God the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit!

Did I left out anyone??? Oh yeah, I forgot to thank myself for been so full of myself. Lame and at times cannot be understood by people. Who was left out in one of thoes dusty shelf. Who cares? The Lord Jesus does! Amen? AMEN!!!


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April 14, 2003 Leave a comment

She had shifted to a new doman and She is back!

Added Good Stuff!

For the last 3days, I had a wonderful encounter wif God. He had used various God-fearing believers to share lessons of great value to me.

Many of you knew that I had been praying and trying to get a placing in NIE. My passion for teaching had not ceased. Thus, I applied for a post in teaching recently. I hoped and prayed that I’ll be able to get in this time round since the demand of teachers will increase in 2005 when the classroom will be shrink to 30pupils instead of the current 40pupils.

Two Fridays ago, I received a letter from MOE… I torn open the envelope. Yes, I was rejected again for the 7th time. Hai. Rejected again!!! However, this time round I wasn’t so devastated compared to 10mths ago. I wasn’t going to give up yet. I told myself I’ll try again next mth.

Frankly, I was still abit sore abt the whole thing…

Last Fri… there was a change in the meeting of the CG(Covenant Group). My CG, lighthse 1 was to get another CG, lighthse 2. There was a sharing from a bro, Sebe abt seeking God and knowing God’s will for me. An interesting topic.

Most of the time, we seek God in eg. A change of vocation, higher education, marriage etc… but not what we eat, what we wear… etc.

From the sharing, Sebe shared abt in order for us as Christians.

We need to know the Father’s heart… He used Psalm 103 and some others verses to share. Psalm 103 which describes of God attributes. A wonderful psalm indeed. Another verses that really ministered to me… is Jn 15:15. “15I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.”

In order to know seeking and knowing God’s will for us…

I need to have a growing relationship wif God. A cultivating relationship wif the Lord. If I don’t have such intimate relationship… when God show me from daily routine eg. making my bed… when God said something abt making my bed is like making my Christian walk with the Lord straight and neat…

I will not be sensitive to such lesson from daily routine… in my big and small decision.

Ways to cultivate such relationship…

1) Thru a quality Quiet Time

2) Communication wif the Lord, prayer

3) Most impt thing is I want and desire to do that…

I like this quote… “What is the differences btw a disciple and a lover of God when they forget to do their QT? A disciple will say, “Sorry, Please forgive me Lord, I forget do QT.” A lover will say, “Lord, I miss you.”

On Sat, I had a great MTM(Man to Man) session wif Wee Leong. I shared abt my rejection from MOE… Told him abt my decision on applying again… and the sharing on last fri.

I told him abt God gave me the 1st vision in my 10yrs of walk wif the Lord… Ps 20:4 “4May he give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed.”

That’s why I wasn’t going to give up the application.

He showed two other verses, Ps 21:2 “2You have granted him the desire of his heart

and have not withheld the request of his lips. Selah ”

Ps 37:4 “4Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.”

God will grant the desire my heart when I delight myself in Him first… and having the desire will meet that my desire and His desire must go in line together. I need to give up this desire to God first and allow God to use it… If it according to His desire… God will definitely give it back to me.

As I was reflecting, I realised that how often I come to the Lord with my own agenda. I wasn’t interested to know God’s agenda for me…

Often when I come to the Lord merely to ask for His suggestion… like wat Sebe shared. “God should I study Maths or Physics? When God said, “Study Maths!” “Thks God, I will study Physics”

I’m taking Him for granted… I have belittled God… who is suppose to be my LORD and Saviour…

What kind of attitude is that! How absurb!

Wee Leong helped me to realised that I need to let this desire to go into teaching died… so that if it’s God’s desire too… He will definitely give it back and make the path clear in my favour.

Not that, I test and try and try again and again… hopeful the door will somehow open… 7th times I was rejected… what is the learning point? God had closed the door… I had not allow God to look at the agenda… I wanted to press God’s button. “God, I want this to happen. Make it happen!

I had not surrendered it to the Lord.

Sun… today. It’s the last lesson on the BGR(Boy Girl Relationship). It had been postponed for 2wks b’coz of SARS.

God brought people like Kwoon Yong to shared abt Self Image.

There are things in my life I wished I could change.

B’coz often I see myself in 2 Ways:

1) lowly than God sees me

2) higher than God sees me

The 1st and 2nd is not a healthy way of looking at myself…

Kwoon Yong suggested that I shld see myself as God sees me… significant and competent in Him.

I can’t find my significant in gf or wife… it’s the reverse. My signification can only be found in Him.

Siang Hon, the next speaker shared abt the difference btw King Saul and David.

David was a man after God’s heart whereas Saul wasn’t.

I need to be like David running AFTER God’s heart… not BEFORE or BEHIND but just AFTER God’s heart.

Later he shared abt the 4Ms

1) Master

2) Mission

3) Mate

4) Me

1. I must know my who is my Master. 2. I must know what my Mission/Purpose for me. 3. Then God will provide this Mate. 4. I need to make the Me to be the ONE if I want my future partner to make all my expectations. I have to be able to one who can fulfil my own expectations with God’s help of coz.

Rebecca shared the 4Es

1) Esteem in Christ

2) Expectation of my future partner

3) Enjoy my singlehood

4) Entrust my life

When the whole sharing ended… Matt told us that we are shld give the ladies a yellow rose each and tell them that we appreciated them and they are fearfully and wonderfully made… Praise God for this act of appreciate the leaders had told of.

I had no problem giving flowers to ladies… but for the most of the rest of the guys were struggling like mad… so nervous. Hee… nevertheless, we all gave and appreciate the ladies…

The last segment was a testimony of Ronald and Loo Yi… it’s was wonderful sharing of how God uses the mistakes of man… and later on turn the table around and blessed the relationship. Very touching testimony…

The leaders wanted to end the evening wif a time of worship… little do I all know that God have another agenda for me…

Matt led in a time of submission and surrender. Allowing God to heal the past relationships, relationship at home, I struggled with some of these issues… He later on challenged us stand in response to it. He told us that we need to received such healing if not we will not be able to go into a relationship wif out these baggage.

Finally, I decided to surrender the past relationships which crippled me… as I started to recall… tears began to steam down my eyes… it’s so difficult to let God take it… coz it means that I have to rip up the wound which I wanted hid for so many years and recent years. It’s just too overwhelming for me… my heart broke.

I cried like a baby…

As the worship continued… there was a sense of slow and sure assurance from the Lord. I began to open my eyes… and saw many of my brothers and sisters were oso weeping… some of them even fell down on the ground flat… Pastor Swee Boo and other bros were praying for them…

One of the bros was experiencing tremendously pain… I dun know actually what happened to his life… but I knew inside he was hurting so much. Crying so loudly… Josh and I just fell on our knees so prayed for this bro… It’s had been so long since I experienced God touching some many lives in the deep issue. Including my own issues.

I’m just so glad that God had touched so many pple today… though it maybe a kind of good sensation… it doesn’t mean that I’m heal immediately but it’s definitely a new beginning for me… and for many of my brothers and sisters out there.

We lived in a distorted society where we want to find our significant in many places… as Christians it’s doesn’t mean that we don’t struggled wif it… all the more we struggled. We maybe very good in our bible study, leading worship, playing the guitar, drums etc…

We have come to a stage when we find our security in our grades, studies, jobs… our heart had be so hardened… or rather we are scared that the person next to us whom we share will think lowly of us when we sharing such struggles.

As for me, my healing process had just started… and I thanked Lord for this time of unspoken agenda.


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April 8, 2003 Leave a comment

Reality Bites

… the last few days was kinda on the low side. School had cancelled till 13th of April due to SARS. Got news that I was rejected from MOE for the 7th time…

The number of pple catching SARS is climbing. 2 more deaths. One of which is a 27 years old doctor. My humble condolences to him and his family.

He finally lost the battle with the virus. Leaving behind a lot of hearts broken especially to her wife to be… tragic. He still have so many years ahead of him. ,b>My salute to all doctors, nurses, lab assistance, admin staff, cleaners etc who selflessly do their jobs which the rest of us… complain and complain that we don’t have the right cutlery to eat our steak.

Another person whose death brought much sorrow to the media was Leslie Cheung. When I received an sms from a friend on April Fool’s Day. I barked back to say dun play such a kind of joke. I never quite enjoy play a prank on someone…

I fell off my couch when I heard the news that Leslie committed suicide. Although I was not a die-hard fan of his… I felt a sense of lost for the HK media circle. He was a tremendously talented actor and singer. Though his personal life I wasn’t very impressive.

I enjoyed most of his movies… My humble condolences to him too… Good bye, Leslie your life had been remembered by many fans out there!

Reflecting on my own life… will I commit suicide if I’m faced with depression which I can’t handle. Seriously, I don’t know. So far, no woman had made me willing to give up my life for… though there was 1 this woman who had caused to gone into depression for 6mths. It wasn’t enough to make me bring myself to end my life.

I guess I love my life too much to even end it. Furthermore, my belief is doing such a thing is SIN. Personally, I think it’s a coward way to settle things. Running from reality though reality bites. Reminds me of a song by Lisa Loeb, ‘Stay’ from the movie ‘Reality Bites’

Coming from a not so perfect family… i can empathise with those who’s family is broken. At a tender age, I already experienced quite a number events when a lot teens these days are busy spending money without thinking about whether tomorrow they have enough to even a bowl of rice…

Reality Bites… but God is still in the picture to pick me up when I am down. All I need to do is to wait.


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April 5, 2003 Leave a comment

… Got rejected by MOE again…


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