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Archive for September, 2012

Start before it is too late…

September 25, 2012 Leave a comment

The longer I am in the financial industry, the more I see my peers and my own clients their health start to show signs of aging. chronic illness started to creep into their lives.

Today, I met up with a couple who are younger than me one already went through a heart bypass and the other had cancer. They had all these before they are 30. My heart aches to know that at such young age they are experiencing illness which normally hit those who are in their late 50s and 60s. The age get younger these days. I will be helping them to seek  if there is any chance the insurance companies will accept them with some exclusion. My heart was tremendously heavy for them as I know the cost of medical treatment in Singapore is costly unless you do not mind going to a lower class ward where alot of pple are fighting to be on the waiting list to be treated.

Even before I reached home just now I received an email from an insurance company who had outright rejected my client application. As I read the reason for rejection, I felt so saddened because she only discovered it one month before meeting me. If she had met me 3 months ago instead of delaying the appointment I would have gotten her into medical insurance. She is only 45.

After seeing so many of these similar cases, I am convinced that my mission is to help as many pple possible to get them into a medical plan so that they will not be deprived from high quality medical treatment if they need them in the future.

Those many may reject my kind offer to help review their existing medical plans. I know my mission is not to force them but to educate them to do something about it.

It is always good to start a proper medical plan while you are still young & health than start when it is too late. Even though you have the money but you don’t have the health be underwritten anymore.

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Categories: Life, Reflection

3rd quarter of 2012

September 21, 2012 Leave a comment

2012 is left with slightly more than 3 mths. Have I achieved anything some yes some no.

The last 9 mths flew past me like a raise of an eyebrow.

On a personal level my health had improved building more muscles but my weight din went down it is still the same. My diet had changed quite a fair bit I ha already started to eat less processed food. More soupy stuff. Half my portion of cabs.

Financially, I had emptied my account once again for Reno, furnitures, appliances etc. need to restart my savings and work harder to earn more to cope with the extra expenses.

There are many things I would put in place for next year… Going try out new stuff & live my life even more to the max.

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Categories: Life, Me, Reflection

I understood pain and hurt (1)

September 21, 2012 Leave a comment

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I like the quotes that was written above… it is who I am today.

I had the privilege to listen to a dear friend out pour of the pain and hurt that had gone passed… The person asked me one question how come you can overlooked all the pain and hurt and laughed it off… I answered coz it is not worth dwelling upon it. There were many pains and hurts I had gone thru to be able to laugh it off and move on.

I decided to pin this down before I grow old and forgot all about them.

At a very young age, I understood pain and hurt from my own mother. Being uneducated and the youngest daughter, she didn’t have the means to read and know how to be a good mother. There is no one to guide her or teach her to nurture her own children. To add the matter worse she was the youngest in the family. She was doted and like a little princess she didn’t have to go through hardship  to obtain the things that she wanted. Everything was easily given to her, all she needed to do was asked.

Thus when she was match made to be married to my dad, she expected a comfortable life and didn’t need to worry about money. Dad made sure he was about to provide for the family… he worked extremely hard to make sure that she had a comfortable life and she did. Until I came into the picture.

Dad had to work even harder to provide for the future expenses. Save as much as he could, spend as little as he could to prepare for my arrival.

I didn’t  gave my mom a easy pregnancy, I was a difficult baby she had quite a bad 1st trimester could eat much. Dad had to travel distant and I mean distant cos Singapore wasn’t really developed then to get her the cravings that she had. Dad did all these to help ease her pregnancy.

When the day I was supposed to be born it was discovered that my head was in wrong position thus gyna had no choice but to do a C-section. She had a really had a difficult road of recovery. She felt helpless and clueless on how to take care of infant. Dad decided to engage a confinement lady to help her. I remember dad telling me that he had to rush home during his lunch hours to see if I was well taken care of.

Fast forward to few years later when I was slightly older maybe 3-4 years old. I always love toys, those tiny army soldiers, cars, tanks etc. I always wanted to get more coz they were so interesting and they came in different countries. I wanted them coz they are my only companions, I was the only child then I didn’t have a younger siblings that I could play with thus I would play by myself and entertain myself. I remembered every time I asked for a new toy I would without fail be beaten up quite badly in public. No explanation. No reason. Just straight away beaten up and dragged home… Till date the memory still hurts and pains me.

Dad would always surprised with those toys on the weekend… they were my prized processions.

I loved to display all my tiny soldiers and place them all over the living room in our 2rm rented flat in Toa Payoh. I would pretend that I was the chief commender and commended the troops to attack and destroy the enemies. Every time when I done playing with them I would love to sleep in the middle of all my tiny soldiers like they were my good friends to accompany me to sleep. Without fail I was either scolded or caned for not keeping my toys. No explanation no reason.

The beating continued so long as I am naughty or disobey or didn’t fall into the so called expectations of my mother. I hated the beatings. I grew more and more bitter against her I vowed one day I will be strong and defend myself against such beatings. As I grew older whatever I knew I was going to be beaten I would run straight away to snatch the cane before she could lay hands on it , I would hide and lock in my parent’s room for hours. She would coax me to come out and I initially thought I wouldn’t be beaten. I was wrong the beating continue. This go on for weeks and I knew there was no point of hiding since I would be beaten anyway. I figured that I should face the beating and whether it happens I would snatch the cane and break it and threw them away. It worked for awhile before she bought even more canes in case I decided to do that she would have backups.

In the end she gave up and decided to grab anything that she could lay her hands on brushes, brooms, small stools… I was physically abused by my own mother. There was this incident that the broom was broken after a few times of beatings. Wow my skin had became tougher… hahahaha.

Dad was always busy working hard that didn’t really know why I always got bruises and cane marked. He only knew I was naughty that why I was beaten up so badly. He trusted my mom.

The beating lessen after my sister was born. She was too busy taking care of her to be bothered with me.

Till this day it hurts really bad to recall those memories, even though I had tried to forgive her of her shortcomings. It stings very deeply in my heart.

I ever wonder why I was born to be abused by my mother… wouldn’t it be better if I wasn’t born in this world… If not for my dad’s love I would probably ran off somewhere and live by my own.

I always envy my friends’ moms that they took so good care of them. Had home cooked food. Had love showered upon them. I don’t remember have a decent cooked food. Most of the time, canned food or the same old food repeated again and again.

What a childhood… it made me stronger.

Thank you for being my mother still… I wasn’t a easy child to be taken care of anyway. You had a difficult time trying to bring me up as your 1st one.

Categories: Dad, Life, Reflection, Uncategorized

My obligation to my country

September 19, 2012 Leave a comment

Every yr I will be back to serve my obligation to my country.

Like all previous years, I dread going back because there is nothing productive that comes out from it. I will be practically stand guard for 6 hrs waiting for time to pass.

Frankly speaking, I would rather they ask me to do some community works like bringing those rations that are excess and donate them to the old folks or orphans to save their operation cost. While we are there we can be interacting with the folks or playing/teaching those orphans that to me will be more meaningful and productive.

Though I dread tremendously on that, there is still something comes out of it. I took those empty to reflect & realign my goals.

2 more wks of freedom. 😊

Categories: Uncategorized

Back from hiatus

September 17, 2012 4 comments

Decide to come back to write my blog since i will be back to serve my nation obligation. There isn’t really anything that I have to do that is productive anyway so I might as well do my reflection and pinning down my thoughts.

The other reason why I am coming back to blogging is cos whatever I am writing on my fb is no longer safe. Pple tend to judge you more and I have to be careful on what I say or post.

Since most of the pple linked to my blog no longer blogs or read my post. I think this might be a better avenue for me to share my deepest thoughts, struggles & frustration. Though I know there is someone out there is reading it. Well I am not affected by the person. In fact I know the person pretty well that I am not afraid to let the person knows my deepest tots.

Will write more when I am free from my duties tmr.

Categories: Uncategorized