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I still miss him

July 16, 2013 5 comments

After 3 years, I still miss my dad badly. I guess I never really recover from the loss. I still miss him dearly. I went thru a state of depression but no one really know about cos I had to hide my feelings and remain strong. There were just so much I have to handle since dad left. I din really time to grief and heal. The reality of life just sets in.

His departure impacted me greatly. I lost everything. I lost the sense of drive, motivation & perseverance. I no longer have the urge to fight for anything. I lost the meaning to live. I could not bring myself to work or do anything. All my achievements no longer matters anymore. I had always wanted to share my accomplishments with him. Even over a cup of coffee or tea meant a world to me. So long as I can share with him and let him be proud of me.

My world changed.

Deep down I was hurt. The pain was so deep that it couldn’t heal. I was trying to hide my hurt & pain.

I live everyday as it comes. I was living life as a empty shell, my heart was cold. Nothing really matters to me anymore.

Till one day, a dear fren came along inspire, encourage & motivate me but now I’m back into my previous state. Haiz…

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New year resolution 2013

January 1, 2013 Leave a comment

Personal
1. Read at least 3 books on public speaking
2. Pick up a musical instrument (eg. Sax)
3. Pick up a new language (eg. Thai, Malay)
4. Learn diving
5. Volunteer to serve in an orphanage once a mth
6. Travel to M’sia on a bike
7. Join Toastmaster
8. Join Zumba
9. Do lasik
10. Save $50k
11. Write to my kids
12. Go for my Mount KK climb
13. Overseas trips
14. Obtain my class 2 license
15. Purchase a class 2A or 2 bike

Health
1. Juice every day
2. Exercise 3x a week
3. Eat healthily
4. Reduce my weight to 75kg (80kg now)
5. Train to get 6 pecs
6. Have min. 6 hrs of quality sleep

Work
1. Pass my GI
2. Pass my Mod 2, 4 & 5 CFP
3. Cross $120k income mark
4. Co-employ an admin staff
5. Work 11 mths

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Pain resurface

October 31, 2012 2 comments

In times like this… I wish my dad is still ard to encourage me.

All the past memories of pain inflicted by mom resurface. All the negative tots overwhelmed me.

I guessed I never really forgive her. The memories are still haunting me.

I did many sets of weights inflicting pain onto my body till I cannot carry anymore.

My heart is still bleeding again. The scars are still fresh. Haiz…

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Protected: Need a break

October 21, 2012 Enter your password to view comments.

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Self

October 14, 2012 Leave a comment

One of those rare night that I am still awake at wee hrs.

As I am siting by the windows I was reflecting by myself. It dawns upon me that as much as I try to hide myself I realize that I can’t.

I am a competitive person in nature. I am a perfectionist as well. I choose not to go that route cos over the years pple are hurt along the way cos of my own expectation…

These days I took steps to focus on my personal goals that affect me more that it affects others.

The only reason is why I treasure friendship to deeply.

Categories: Uncategorized

Start before it is too late…

September 25, 2012 Leave a comment

The longer I am in the financial industry, the more I see my peers and my own clients their health start to show signs of aging. chronic illness started to creep into their lives.

Today, I met up with a couple who are younger than me one already went through a heart bypass and the other had cancer. They had all these before they are 30. My heart aches to know that at such young age they are experiencing illness which normally hit those who are in their late 50s and 60s. The age get younger these days. I will be helping them to seek  if there is any chance the insurance companies will accept them with some exclusion. My heart was tremendously heavy for them as I know the cost of medical treatment in Singapore is costly unless you do not mind going to a lower class ward where alot of pple are fighting to be on the waiting list to be treated.

Even before I reached home just now I received an email from an insurance company who had outright rejected my client application. As I read the reason for rejection, I felt so saddened because she only discovered it one month before meeting me. If she had met me 3 months ago instead of delaying the appointment I would have gotten her into medical insurance. She is only 45.

After seeing so many of these similar cases, I am convinced that my mission is to help as many pple possible to get them into a medical plan so that they will not be deprived from high quality medical treatment if they need them in the future.

Those many may reject my kind offer to help review their existing medical plans. I know my mission is not to force them but to educate them to do something about it.

It is always good to start a proper medical plan while you are still young & health than start when it is too late. Even though you have the money but you don’t have the health be underwritten anymore.

Categories: Life, Reflection

3rd quarter of 2012

September 21, 2012 Leave a comment

2012 is left with slightly more than 3 mths. Have I achieved anything some yes some no.

The last 9 mths flew past me like a raise of an eyebrow.

On a personal level my health had improved building more muscles but my weight din went down it is still the same. My diet had changed quite a fair bit I ha already started to eat less processed food. More soupy stuff. Half my portion of cabs.

Financially, I had emptied my account once again for Reno, furnitures, appliances etc. need to restart my savings and work harder to earn more to cope with the extra expenses.

There are many things I would put in place for next year… Going try out new stuff & live my life even more to the max.

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Categories: Life, Me, Reflection